Luke 15:11-32
I got a letter this week from someone who was quite unhappy with a few things that happened here in worship last Sunday, and I want to share it with you:
Dear First Christian Church:
I don’t even know where to begin. I saw the picture you had up in the sanctuary last week and it was like a slap in the face and then I heard the sermon and another slap. You ignored me completely. I am used to being left out of things – my own father sometimes seems to forget my name, but I expected more of you. You read about me in the scripture, sure, but I wasn’t referenced ONCE during the sermon and that picture, that beautiful Rembrandt painting that stood right beside the pulpit – did you know that is not the complete painting. At least Rembrandt didn’t forget me – actually some have argued that he did and I was added in later, but most reject this. I have requested that the complete picture be displayed this week to show that I was a part of this story, an important part and I am sick and tired of everyone forgetting about me. I am the good son but somehow my brother gets ALL of the attention. Actually it was kind of Rembrandt to include me in this scene because truth be told, I wasn’t there. Again, I was left out. And not because I was out carousing or doing any of the things my brother has done – no I was doing my job, I was working when he decided he was good enough to grace us with his presence. I wasn’t there when father welcomed him back, I wasn’t even told there was going to be a party. Instead I came home from work, a long hard day – mind you – to find out from a servant not only that my brother had come home but that father had slaughtered the fatted calf to celebrate! In that moment my blood was boiling. How dare he, how dare my brother come back here after basically telling father he wished he were dead and then leaving us all and throwing this families money away.
And how dare my father, not only welcome him home but throw him a party as if he has done anything right! He has never done what was right for this family. Even before he left, he hardly worked, he damaged our reputation every chance he got and never respected father the way he should.
I was so mad, and then father comes out and invites me in. Sure he said everything that is his is mine, well of course it is, I have earned it! And then he asked me to join the party but it wasn’t like he even considered cancelling it after I pointed out how much it hurt me that I have never been given a party. Maybe I should just treat father horribly, wander away, lose all my money and then I would get the royal treatment! It’s not right! Its not fair! I have done everything father has ever asked of me, I never left home, look at the picture – I look like my father, I dress like him, and yet…
Well even though I have been here all along…I feel so far away, so distant. No one has been a better son than me, no one is more responsible, giving, dutiful – and yet even in this picture you can see how far away I am from my father, from his embrace…
I am sorry to dump all of this on you but I had just had enough. I am sick of being overlooked. I am tired of being the one who gives and gives and works and works to be overlooked completely. I should be the one my father celebrates, I should be the one in his arms, not my rebel of a brother. I matter, my story matters and I thought you should here it, here it from me. Now I have to decide if I should go into this stupid party or just stay away. Can you relate to me at all?
Have you ever been left out? Have you ever felt the world is unjust? Do people always celebrate all that you do and give and are – I’ll bet you know what I mean. Church folks often do. You all spend so much time talking about my brother but isn’t he a little more like those folks that only show up on Christmas and Easter…what about the rest of you that are here everyday – giving to your church, leading your church, supporting your church. You understand, don’t you, how it hurts to be neglected. You know, that being in the church, singing the songs, often isn’t enough that you do everything you are supposed to do, you pray, you read the Bible, you visit the sick, you come to worship, you tithe, you volunteer and yet sometimes, often even, you feel far away from other people in the church and far away from God. Doesn’t that make you mad!? Don’t you sometimes, just want some recognition, to see that all of your work isn’t in vain?
I don’t know, I can hear the party going on right now, what should I do? Part of me, a big part of me wants to walk away just like my brother did. To leave it all – then they would know how much I did, how much they depended on me. But another part of me wants to go in, to do the right thing like I always do. I need to show father that I too am worthy of his love. To remind him of all that I do and will continue to do so that he will love me like he loves my brother. I want that love so much…
I’ll do anything for it. I’ve done everything for it. Maybe someday, I’ll have it.
Regards,
Elder brother
...
So that was hard to hear. He took us to task a bit and asked some hard questions, questions that shouldn’t be ignored. Can we identify with him? Do we know what he feels like? He seems to think that some folks who are committed to the church, maybe more than anyone, should be able to understand his pain. Because the fact of the matter is a great many of us haven’t ever left. We are the ones that have stayed close to home, we have remained faithful in our service to God. We have done what we were told, given what we were asked to give, showed up when we were needed and even more than that. We have gone over and above and all we ask for is an intimate relationship with God. To be blessed and chosen, to be recognized and appreciated. Just like the elder brother said, of course father loves me, I have earned it! I deserve it! And so we say, we have earned salvation, we deserve it! We have spent our lives showing ourselves and our families and our God that we are worthy of God’s love here on earth and through all eternity.
And yet this story flies in the face of that statement. The prodigal son and a few others like those that work in a vineyard all day who get paid the same as those who work only the last hour…tell us that this is not the way of God. But it is not easy to hear.
I’ll admit it, I struggle here, and I imagine many of you have figured this out. You hear in my sermons, quite often, words like call and go and do and care and share…because I believe in many ways our actions demonstrate to God and the world the conviction and faith of our hearts. I don’t think we are whole in your faith if we think and act on behalf of no one but ourselves. And yet, what the elder brother revealed to us, when he confessed the distance he feels from his father, is that while actions may be the natural response to God’s love – they are not always a response, sometimes they are plea, an attempt, a wish or a game.
We can lie just as easily with our actions as we can with our words. We can tell the world, we can tell God, we can even tell ourselves that we do all that we do because God calls us to do it, but deep down maybe we are not serving God at all. Maybe we are trying to serve ourselves. Feeding the homeless, saying prayers, going to church, welcoming strangers – we do it, not because we want to, but because we fear what would happen if we didn’t. We don’t trust ourselves nor do we trust God enough to love us if we run away from home or if we stay and are not perfect.
But the result doesn’t leave us where we want to be. It leaves us, like the elder brother at a distance, or standing outside of the party – feeling left out, alone, angry, bitter and resentful.
Very, very resentful. We resent our brothers and our sisters – for not doing the right thing, for making messes that we have to clean up. We resent everyone who is included, everyone who hasn’t worked as hard as we have, and maybe most of all and worst of all we resent God – for not being fair, for rewarding the wrong people and ignoring the right ones.
But God comes to us and says, no I have not ignored you, I love you. Will you come to the party, will you let me love you?
It sounds like a silly question doesn’t it. God’s love is what we want, God’s love and favor is what we work for day in and day out. And yet when we try to earn it or win it – we deny it. We are unable to accept God’s unconditional love, because we put the conditions on it. We limit God and God’s love by convincing ourselves or acting so that we are guaranteed love and heaven. And God asks again, will you let me love you? And we try to prove to God that we will but in doing so again and again we say no.
There is a song by David Wilcox that until I was writing this sermon I thought was about a really healthy relationship, a good marriage…but as I prayed and worked through this text and the emotions and insecurities and struggles of the elder brother, all of a sudden this song was about us and God. It is called hard part…it is a plea from God to us…you’ve got a whole heart, give me the hard part, I can love that too…
I want you to listen to the words, read them, find the vulnerability and the risk and then the joy in letting God love us truly unconditionally – hard parts and all…
I see the look that's in your eyes
That says 'I must keep most of me inside
'Cause you'd never love me if I didn't hide
the secrets of my heart”
Well I'm not here for the surface stuff
I just get bored with all that fluff
So show me the edges even if it's rough
And let the real love start
You think your shame and deep disgrace
Are more than I can bear
But you can go to your darkest place
I will meet you there
And I'm strong enough to take it
And I know what you've been through
You've got a whole heart
Give me the hard part
I can love that too
You look at me with some surprise
And I see the doubt that's in your eyes
Like something deep inside you cries
With a hunger to be known
Like a tiger born in a city zoo
There's been no place for what's inside of you
You try to live like the others do
And it leaves you so alone
I know you think that the heat of your pain
Is more than I can stand
Burn it all in one big flame
And I will hold it in my hand
I'm strong enough to take it
And I know what you've been through
You've got a whole heart
Give me the hard part
I can love that too
Now your eyes well up with tears
As desire mixes with you fears
After so many wounded years
Can you long for what you've missed
You want a cool breeze to dance with your flame
A long lost lover who knows your true name
A secret garden beyond this shame
And it all comes down to this
You think your drowning hope will die
In a sea without a shore
But I can drink that ocean dry
And still come back for more
I'm strong enough to take it
And I know what you've been through
You've got a whole heart
Give me the hard part
I can love that too
I'm strong enough to take it
And I know what you've been through
You've got a whole heart
Give me the hard part
I can love that too
You've got a whole heart
Give me the hard part
I can love that too
Whoever we are, whatever we are afraid to show God, this text – the story of the run away son and his disciplined good older brother reveal to us not just that God is forgiving but that we are powerless against God’s love.
As Thomas Fortenberry said, “There is nothing we can do to make God love us less. And there is nothing we can do to make God love us more.”
That, my friends is amazing.
That, is grace.
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